Overview of Book
What Others Say
Summary of Chapters
Chapter One: Beginnings
How to Get the Book
About the Author
(Back to Main)

When did God begin to "disturb" my life? That's not an easy question. I'm still in the process of unravelling all the God-incidences - those times when God invited me to journey into new and uncharted territories, disturbing my familiar and safe spiritual haven.

Having been raised in a non-mainline church, I knew at an early age that God loved me. But, who was God? When I asked questions, I was given stock responses. "Accept what you're told. Don't question."

Don't question? If God created me - body, mind and spirit - then why couldn't I use my mind to learn more? Why couldn't I ask questions? Not to use my mind was to say "no thanks" to God for the gift given. At the age of fifteen, I left the church which I felt denied me the encouragement to use God's gift of reason.

Many years later, I married the choir director of a local Anglican church.

Because I thought it was the expected thing to do, I went with him to church each Sunday. But people seemed more interested in meeting their friends than greeting a newcomer in their midst. So, each Sunday, I sat at the back of the church, alone, trying to follow the service.

A friend of mine (not a churchgoer) invited me to have a cup of team with her on Sunday mornings. She lived just a few doors away from the church.

After being visible in church until the choir had sung its anthem, I slipped out to visit with m y friend. But I always made sure that I was back in time for coffee hours, so that I could greet my husband, give him feedback about the music, and socialize with other parishioners.

This went on for months. How my friend and I regaled ourselves with laughter! We thought of the "pious ones" sitting on hard wooden benches while we sat comfortably on her couch, sipping tea and nibbling raisin bread.

One Sunday, I returned before people had left the church. As I couldn't avoid the line-up to greet the priest, I stood in line, shook his hand, said something inane like "Lovely service," and attempted to move on.

Then came God's first overt "disturbance" in my life.

The priest kept holding my hand and, with a gentle smile said "Thank you. Oh, by the way, we're having Bible Study classes this Thursday morning. You're welcome to join us."

Bible Study? Thanks, but no thanks! I didn't want some person telling me what to believe. I'd left a church years ago for that reason. Why would I want to repeat the incident? But rather than explaining it, I returned his smile and siad "Thank you, but no."

Not taking "No" for an answer, he continued. "Well, if you're available, come Thursday morning. Just show up and try us out. No strings attached." Whatever did he mean by, "No strings attached"? Did he knw o I was leery of Bible Study? This was curious.

For an ever-so-brief moment, I wondered if this had something to do with God.

Wednesday came and, oddly, I remembered that the next day was Bible Study. I argued with myself, "I'm not going to get involved in a group which passively sits and listens to some apparent expert cram his personal opinions into us."

Thursday morning, promptly at 6:00 am, I woke up, completely rested. It seemed that all I could think of was Bible Study! What was happening? I couldn't explain it. In quick order, my son was fed and taken to preschool, my household chores were completed, and I found myself at the church in time for Bible Study.

Eventually I became a regular Bible Study participant. And this time, I discovered taht it was all right to ask questions. It was all right to question the Bible and what I believed. It was all right to question the church's stand on certain issues.

Through questions came more questions, but through those questions came clarity, insight and resolution.

God's disturbance was unsettling at first, but it was the beginning of a wonderfully exciting spiritual journey.